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I feel angry, I feel unworthy, I feel caged and I feel empty. These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and conflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an. Out of another bag I pulled a wooden yardstick. I had always fantasized about breaking one across Amber's ass. Now I would.SMACK! Her body jerked violently. The leather panties must sting against that spot. SMACK! Oops, I hit the zipper. SMACK! Oops, again. SMACK! Oh, I slipped and hit her pussy area. SMACK! Damn, I did it again. Her body was shaking and I knew she was sobbing. I went and undid the panties, letting them fall to the floor. OOH, she had bruises.I let the yardstick hit her again across both cheeks. Her entire body jerked and stiffened. I paused for a minute in my spanking and with the tip of the stick, pulled down a touch on the nipple chain. Her entire body seemed to arch. The yardstick came back on her ass, this time breaking into pieces. I threw it away and started licking and sucking at her ass. OH, it was so hot. I quickly stripped, throwing my clothes across the room into the corner. I spread her ass cheeks now. I wanted her, NOW. I had the Vaseline ready and.
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